It may feel ages ago, but from May 2013 to January 2015,
my mother lived with us in a 600 sq. ft. two bedroom apartment. She moved in
when my daughter was 2 ½ months old, both for economical reasons and
for relationship building reasons. Prior to this experience, my mom and I
didn’t have the kind of best-friend relationship that some girls have with
their mothers that I yearned for all my life. It was not uncommon for us to
go weeks without talking to each other. Our rocky
relationship was set aside when my husband and I decided to invite her to live
with us. Those who know us only had a tiny inkling as to why she
was living with us, but not the entire story.
My mom, like many women today, was/is a working woman. I was borne to her when she was near 40, after two boys and many years of working and believing that she’d never have any more kids. It is my personal belief that this factor contributed the most to our unstable relationship. So when Lily was born, I felt torn about leaving her to go back to work. Nonetheless, in today’s society, it becomes necessary for a woman to work in order to contribute to the household income. Hence, I went back and for a year and a half, my mother stayed with Lily during the day while hubby and I worked full time (and my husband had an extra job of going to school), and thus began a foray into the many eccentricities that only comes from living with a parent as an adult.
I’d like to think that along with an improved
relationship, my mother also left behind a legacy of her recipes when she moved
out earlier this year. When I was growing up, I saw her as the main chef in our
family. My dad hardly cooked – it was unheard of for men to do so in my
village, so it fell on her to make our meals. However, my mom is not the type
of person who enjoys cooking very much. She let this fact be well known to me. Her
‘enjoyment’ from cooking only comes from providing sustenance for a group of
people, not for herself. So when she lived with us, she cooked rarely, and I
don’t blame her. You get tired from spending a whole day taking care of a
baby. When she did cook, it was simple and quick meals, all paired with rice. We are a big rice-eating family.
But on Sundays, it was different.
Sunday is her day to go to church, her day to relax.
Because I always had Sundays off, I spent time with my daughter while she was
free to do as she pleased. Ironically, she’d often cook dinner for us. After
church, she’d stop by the grocery store and decide what to make that night, and
for several hours in the afternoon, she’d hole herself up in our tiny kitchen
and create these elaborate Vietnamese soups that involved at least 15
ingredients; or she’d ask us what we’d like to eat, and she’d make it. As
you can see, I looked forward to Sundays very much.
It wasn’t until she was physically in our household and
making her Vietnamese dishes that our eating habits changed, and I'm glad it did. During this time she introduced quite a few dishes to our family
repertoire. My mom is not only a strict Catholic, but also a strict
Vietnamese-food-only eater. Even though she munched on burgers, crackers and
other random bits of American fare while she was working, she’d always default
on Vietnamese food for her main sustenance. And because my husband and I are
both fans of Vietnamese food already, we always ate her food with diligence and
eagerness.
If there are two things that I’m grateful for the most
from my mom’s food, it’s the fact that 1) she introduced Vietnamese food to my
daughter at an early age. As soon as Lily was old enough to eat solids, she’d
often feed her rice, with soy sauce, fish sauce, and her many rounds of soups
and vegetables, and 2) she brought on the simplest
pickled vegetable recipe that one could ever ask for – bok choy.
Packed with many vitamins and nutrients, these dark leafy
greens (also known as Chinese cabbage) can be cooked in many different ways –
but the best way is by pickling it. Pickled bok boy is no doubt
one of my top favorite foods growing up, and not surprisingly, my
husband went crazy over it when it was introduced in our household. He asked my
mom for the recipe, only to be responded with a vague "I don't have
one." My mom is, and always have been very old school - she cooks by taste
and looks, not by exact measurements. Eventually, through observation and
taste, he got the recipe. These days, it’s not uncommon for Lily to gobble up a big
portion of these guys along with her rice. It is best used as an accompaniment
to a rice and meat dish.
Ly’s Pickled Bok Choy
Adapted from my mom
INGREDIENTS
1-2 lbs. of bok
choy (preferably ones with dark, leafy stems) or preferred
vegetables
2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. sugar
3 tbsp. vinegar
2-3 cups of water
A few slices of ginger
STEPS
Prep the
vegetables – chop into small slices, roughly 1-2 inches in length
Combine all the
ingredients (except for the vegetables) in a pot. Bring to a boil.
Take it off the
stove and let it cool to room temperature.
Add the veggies, including the ginger, and wait at least 24 hours before eating.
NOTE: The ginger is only added for flavor, not for eating.
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